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Before I go into my topic of discussion I wish to briefly eulogize a valued member of the community Ms. Amy Crowder. A premiere corset maker and consummate tight lacing fetishist, Amy lived for her art. She was one of the few people I have been privileged to know who managed to achieve success both financially and personally doing what she loved to do. She died all too soon and was very unexpectedly removed from this world and her patrons at Wasp Creations. Sometimes the bitch goddess mother nature takes no prisoners. Who knows, maybe in the afterlife Amy is released or possibly eternally enslaved according to her passion for waist restrictive fashion… either way She will remain immortal in what she’s left behind- mind blowing corsetry, outstanding memories and the most unique of friendships. My sympathies to the many who loved her.

Quote: The hyphenated word sado-masochism expresses a natural complimentarity of polar opposites: no weakness without intensive focus of power and no use of power without falling back on our secure merger with a larger source of power. Sado-masochism, then, reflects the general human condition, the daily lives of most people. It reflects man living by the nature of the world and his own nature as it has been given to him. Actually, then, it reflects, “normal” mental health. ~Ernest Becker

Dillon said essentially the same thing in ”gotta serve somebody.” Although I am not a big fan of his music, I have always loved that song. It speaks simply and plainly the truth to dominance and submission in human life, day to day and in the end. Ernest Becker’s take on Sado-masochism as powerplay is much more intensified AND I am a big fan of his, AND the above quote is the first of many you can expect from Me from this yet to be exalted for Fetish, genius.

In his lifetime EB won critical acclaim for his perspicacity in The Denial of Death. After reading it, his anthropological approach opened My eyes to human behavior for the first time from something other than psychology. I am indebted to Becker for giving Me access to more resources to explain why people do what they do and especially for helping Me to justify further, the kinky things they do. The only reason I can think that somebody else hasn’t found his thesis on man and death and Fetish relative to Our craft must be because no fetishists have read this book. And why would they with a title like The Denial of Death.

I am fortunate to have uncovered his work to support My views and grateful to angel for her intellectual curiosity. It brought Becker into My life. His concepts and research and message serves Me well and I know it will others, but it will take some mutual effort. Understanding death as a topic concerning human behavior is attributable to more than just intellect. Dealing with loss of someone loved, or the immense task of having to contemplate your own death requires courage. Becker was near death himself when the book came to print. I think in writing this work he must have died with not only a sense of achievement, but with a satisfaction of accomplishment most of us die without. I imagine he also died sweetly knowing he left behind the most scintillating explanation for human fear of death.

For these reasons and more, Becker is My chosen hero. The existential questions affect each of us and are hardly inconsequential if we choose to avoid them, but Becker’s ideas about Sado-masochism and perversion are so spot on that One can overlook his main objective and just stay glued to them. I as your trainer, want to rub your nose in them. Compliant curiosity can be obtained with you on one end of a leash and Me on the other. So keep that visual in your mind as you read anything I write with Becker in mind. Also, information from him about Fetish may be obvious if you self direct yourself and read the book, but the explanation is not. Becker relies heavily on other authors with a Freudian bent in The Denial of Death and unless you already possess a knowledge or a love for Freud, his message will pose a challenge. Terms like anal, denial, and penis envy are some familiar Freudian terms. Transference may be a new one but one that, according to Becker, explains a lot about why we do what we do out of the fear of rejection and the relative threat to security we may experience as ostracism. His application is not the typical one but hits a common human trait- that we retain a sense of pride from personal and ideational alliances in order to avoid humiliation and the fear and shame of embarrassment.

With Me so far? Easy enough and true, right? If you got that give yourself a squeeze of praise. If not, READ IT OVER AND OVER until you do!

I think Pride is the opposite of Humiliation. I think Pride is a byproduct of Narcissism. Narcissism is yes another Freudian psychological construct to explain a type of personality. It originates in the relationship with parents and the struggle for independence. Some have issues maturing and it remains a lifelong conflict for the individual- on the one hand he must assert his independence and on the other he cannot let go of the security only mother can provide. Here we can indentify another common threat or what is known as the fear of abandonment but stay focused. I want you to keep sniffing at the fear of embarrassment.

Becoming aroused by fear, rather than kisses and vanilla sex is more appealing to the fetishist. A brush with death can produce an erection and so can the fear of embarrassment or humiliation. Instincts then must play a role in sexual stimulation as well as the thoughts that accompany them. Thoughts can be conditioned to oppose an unwanted erection as a means to avoid being embarrassed and they can also be fashioned subconsciously to allow what consciously is just too much to bear…say like latent homosexuality.

Vanilla sex is an unclean and imperfect hetero act. For the fetishist it threatens the orderliness of what the individual, in his struggle against his deepest and earliest fears, is desperately trying to avoid confronting. A confrontation would force a change in his beliefs about himself and his view of life and the world. It would cause an upset to how he settled his struggle for his independence. Confrontation with this threat to personality would ruin the objectification of his parents and the impression of himself as their powerful spawn. Somehow the fetishist must maintain his perfection, his concept of idolization. Without it, reality would force him to see himself like everybody else and this is purely counterintuitive to the fetishist and his firmly entrenched narcissism, albeit subconsciously.

So what does he do to secure his personal power( ????? ) for fear of ostracization when having to engage in something that opposes his ideals as perfect? He sublimates, dissociates , represses, read the list ! http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/15-common-defense-mechanisms/ But for Our intents and purposes according to Becker, he confers the power to be- TO EXIST – into an object, an idol that has power over him, that secures his identity, that creates a safe haven, that keeps everything, perfect. Only in this way can the fetishist quell the fears and the anxiety in order to perform the sex act. Thus another term you’re no doubt familiar with, especially you, cuckolds- performance anxiety.

It strikes Me as funny that in worshipping this idol the act itself conflicts with the very cause of this elaborate ruse. In other words if the fetishist could realize he is slave to his idol and his existential dilemmas, the truth would provide the slave freedom, BUT FOR THE FETISHIST THE FREEDOM IS SLAVISHNESS. The slaves power is derived from the power of the idol and the transference of security he receives that relieves his anxiety. In order to remain uncompromised in his values, or in the extreme, uncontaminated by the imperfection of his true desires, the slave transfers his ideals in an act of idolatry to retain security in his personality and power to be.

“……no weakness without intensive focus of power ”……?
One is strengthened NOT focusing all energy on how to retain power, ie. FETISHIZATION.
“……no use of power without falling back on our secure merger with a larger source of power ” …….?
The slave retains power only by ascribing to an ultimate power, ie. Master, Dominant, Superior Female.

For one to generate their own power One must harbor the power to innovate. Listening to Dillon sing http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/bob-dylan-lyrics/gotta-serve-somebody-lyrics.html leaves one questioning How? The above shows how it’s NOT done. Power tripping is a measure not of pride as we see pride masks slavishness. Real Power tripping is a matter of ingenuity, of creativity, of the magnitude of light itself. Power is power to use power as it is energy, readymade, raw, unrefined…..amperage dangerously high in voltage useful only to the risk takers, tacticians, madmen- what I call select madkind.

To close the book Becker draws our attention to the topic of psychotherapy, to the therapist as idol. With all the references to Freud- the ultimate guru psychotherapist- One ceases to wonder. I think this is a harbinger for the art of Domination as it not only pertains, it qualifies as yet another brilliant example within the scheme of idolatry. Becker with subtlety and tact reveals that the phenomena of mental illness- perversions, idolatry and terrors- unravels more than the just the individual, it exposes the powerlessness and the slavishness of the average human evaluative skill set in the fear of the unknown, as in death, and underneath it all, in unknown fears.

Keep sniffing out your own.

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